Nobody Cares as Much as You Think They Do
really, they don't.
Thinking of something to say can be difficult. Here I am, 7 pm on a Tuesday evening, drinking a fat glass of Chardonnay. I felt the urge to write, but I can’t pinpoint anything noteworthy to say. I want to be all Carrie Bradshaw inspired, where she perches in her chair, chain-smoking like there’s no tomorrow, living in her unbelievably and absolutely unobtainable New York apartment, writing her words of wisdom.
Every time I sit down to write, I always think I want to have some cool, revolutionary idea that changes the way I think. It’s one of those Samatha Jones moments like when she says, “If I worried about what every bitch in New York was saying about me, I’d never leave the house.” Same thing. If I thought I was going to write something groundbreaking every time I sat down to write, I’d never do any writing. I’d never publish anything. I’d never put myself out there.
I think leaving college has offered such a dramatic shift in my perception of myself and of other people. My dear friend Mary Grace understands this coming from me probably more than anyone else. MG, how many times have I said, “Nobody cares as much as you think they do,” in the last few months since we’ve graduated? If I had a dollar for every time I said that I wouldn’t be working. In college, you don’t want to post something on your Instagram story because you’re afraid it will get sent around in a sorority group chat you’re not in, or you don’t want to post a mirror selfie of your cute new dress because god forbid your crush on the baseball team sees your story. But now, moving to a city with absolutely no friends or family, I realized there is so much beauty in anonymity.
I never cared what people thought of me. Or so I said. But looking back, I was never as nonchalant as I thought I was. There were times when I didn’t post something for the sake of “what will people think?” But being on my own has taught me one thing… and say it with me now, “Nobody cares as much as you think they do!” Isn’t that just the most freeing thing in the world?! You are your own person, you have your own journey, and nobody’s path is superior to yours. It’s so easy to take a negative outlook on life when you graduate. Ugh, she got a job in New York City and she works for a cool gallery. (I’ve had this thought more than a few times for sure). But then I like to remind myself that social media is just the highlight reel. Nothing is ever as perfect as it may seem to be.
But maybe it is? Maybe if you gaslight yourself enough, life really is perfect, lol. Delusion is key here. Or maybe it’s manifestation? And, for me, I’m choosing to believe that life is perfect and it’s going the way that it’s supposed to. Because why live a life with regrets? Why live a life where you look back and think, “I wish I would’ve written that blog when I was 23.”
So, today, we’re doing it. I challenge you to do one thing that you have always wanted to do but have been too afraid to do it. It could be something as simple as eating at a restaurant by yourself, texting that one friend that you’ve lost touch with, posting your outfit of the day on Instagram and TikTok, or maybe even going clubbing. The opportunities are endless! Just try something that you’ve always wanted to do but have been too afraid that people will judge you for it. And guess, what? If they do judge you, you’ll probably never know. Isn’t that beautiful? Ah, ignorance is bliss. Come take a trip on the wild side. All of this to say, post what you want, do what you want, say what you want because, at the end of it all, nobody cares as much as you think they do.
For instance, why am I writing a blog/newsletter? Is it to become famous and make tons of money from people purchasing from affiliate links? Absolutely not. It’s so that I can connect with people from my past, present, and future. So maybe something I say will inspire someone else. So that my meal plans or fashion inspiration might make someone else’s life just a tiny bit easier. So that someone who is having a hard day will maybe crack a smile at something I said. So that girls who are my age or are graduating college know that life doesn’t end after Sewanee. There’s more to life than partying and studying and TKP and getting kicked off campus.
Being one year out of college does not make me wise. It does not make me feel like I am better than everyone else. It does not make me think that I have everything figured out or that I have all the answers. However, being one year out of college makes me realize that I can do hard things. When I was in the moment I never realized how big of an undertaking it was. Sometimes it takes a good friend like Anna Perrone to point out just how big of a 180 my life has taken in one year. So give yourself a big hug for that! Just like Anna and I here. ❤️
Picture me last year. Just graduated college, driving my trusty Volvo down the mountain and back to good ole Cookeville, TN. Living with my sister in Nashville and nannying four of my most favorite humans on earth. I had a nice, slow, and easy introduction to adulthood. I had my sister beside me, guiding me, and teaching me how to cook on a budget. I had the fantastic Massa family who supported me throughout the summer (and beyond!). I had it easy. Until I moved to Texas and jumped off the deep end! Here’s me before: slowly, aesthetically making my way into an infinity pool overlooking a crystal clear blue ocean. Here’s me after moving to Texas: a canon ball into the community pool during Hurricane Katrina. Just kidding, that’s a little dramatic. More like moving to a state with no friends, your car gets towed, and your leasing officer has to drive you to the towing place because you don’t know anyone else to take you. That’s how it felt.
But look at me now! One year postgrad. Living in my apartment, paying my rent and my bills (and being sad at how expensive they are), working a full-time job at a fabulous company, establishing a solid group of friends and continuing to meet new people, finding my groove and my routine, my favorite parks to go sit at, my favorite routes to walk in the mornings, turning myself into a Dallas local. It’s crazy how much you accomplish in a year. Sometimes you just need to take a step back and appreciate that. And realize, wow, I have grown. I actually have done something for myself. And you can be proud of that. I know I am!
One thing I also would like to acknowledge is how incredibly blessed I am. I am so blessed by my family, my parents specifically. I know they would never let me fall. They might let me jump out of the airplane into a free fall, but they’re the parachute. Right behind me to make sure I land safely. They have been so supportive of the decisions I’ve made, and make me feel like I can do this whole adult thing. If you don’t have that support system behind you when you flee the coop, let me be that person for you. Like my sister always tells me, “When are you not honest.” So, I’ll let you know how it actually is.
Carlie and I like to say we’d like to know the REAL dynamics of people’s lives. I want to know the truth. Maybe that’s the Virgo in me, maybe it’s the Enneagram 8. Whatever it is, fear not, I will tell you the real dynamics of what life is like. And don’t you forget it.
Well, I guess I’ve rambled on long enough. Stay tuned for my Midweek Must-Haves and check out this week’s menu if you haven’t already!
Xx, Annie